Open communication strengthens relationships between people, helps to establish new friendships and also to cooperate, builds confidence and sense of security. Communication starts with hearing what other people have to say. Hearing should not be confused with listening. These are two similar words but with a completely different meaning.

Hearing is a passive activity. It encourage the speaker to continue speaking, but does not give the feeling of being understood. Hearer doesn’t t show empathy to speaker because he doesn’t share or recognize emotions experienced by speaker. Hearing can be compared to listening to the radio in the car while driving. Listening is an active activity. When you listen you focus your attention on what speaker says. It gives the speaker a sense that listener understand his attitude and beliefs and heard him gladly.

People often start to express their needs and feelings with words. If you just let them talk, you will know what motivates their actions. If you listen to them, you will save yourself a lot of concerns and worries, because you have a chance to resolve the conflict in the first phase of its creation.

You can listen to people in various situations:

“Excuse me, Can I get some change? I need a penny to the truck”.
“May I order hot tea? It is very cold today”.
“It is me who always cook so can you make me breakfast today?”.
“I can’t cope with this. I need help”.
“I like when you say compliments to me. I feel appreciated”.
“I’ll have pizza without pepperoni. I don’t like a spicy food”.
“I never have time for each other. It will be nice to go to the cinema “.
“I like when you help me when I ask for it. I feel like I can count on you”.

Hear to the message hidden between the words.

People hide betwen words their emotions. Each of us having witnessed a spectacular event (for example car accident or fire) will use a different set of words to reflect emotions and describe the situation. If during the conversation the message appears once again you should immediately start to explore what is hidden behind it. You should motivate speaker to reveal details about hidden message.

Ask additional questions: What do you mean? Can you precise it? Why do you think that? Any additional information can be useful in the next step of communication. These tips will help you to solve the problem at the very beginning of it.

The message that will not be heard for a long time will come back with a double impact.

If you attack speaker by being stubborn despite his protest, rejecting his arguments or disregarding his message you lead speaker to burnout. Discarded messages lead speaker to rebellion. Then it is often too late to solve the problem because it reaches huge size and the speaker became to be withdrawn.

That is why it is so important to listen actively. Take your time and pay attention to hear the message that world is trying to tell you. Showing empathy and interest to the speaker you will become a better person. You will also save yourself a lots of problems. Most of them starts because we do not listen to people who talk to us. Not heard messages lead to wars, divorces, friendship and relationship decay and failures in the professional field.

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